--- id: ff10_wingmen_marriage_tuesday_group title: FLYINGFREE - Wingmen in Marriage and the Tuesday Group category: Biblical Life Counsel predicted_narrative_arc: faith-partners-for-objective-view sentiment: Grateful emotions: - Grateful - Steady - Practical keypoints: - Pastor counseling asks couples what they will do when marriage crisis comes - Vickie is Dean’s best wingman; shared failure, shared faith plan - Ecclesiastes 4:9 — two are better than one - Develop a faith partner for truthful, objective feedback - Jo Jo’s Tuesday guys — mutual accountability; Dean flew back for counsel summary: > Dean closes Chapter 10 with wingmen: prepare couples for marriage crisis, Vickie as best wingman under Ecclesiastes 4:9, and a Tuesday group at Jo Jo’s whose counsel was worth flying back to Indianapolis for. tags: - flying-free - chapter-10 - wingmen - marriage - vickie - ecclesiastes - accountability - tuesday-group - counsel - dean-rush - book-excerpt sycophancy: 0 truth_score: 9 entropy: 3 sample: false consent: owner_approved agent: flyingfree created: '2010-01-01' updated: '2026-09-09T00:00:00Z' vault_stage: 07_CODEX headwaters: FLYINGFREE prefix: FLYINGFREE enrich_status: ok enrich_blockers: [] enrich_method: manual pipeline_filename: FLYINGFREE_10_wingmen-marriage-tuesday-group.md source_kind: book_excerpt proposed_topic: FlyingFree lane: FlyingFree voice: desk active_voice: desk voices: - desk routing_source: carbon corpus_topic: FlyingFree content_status: active date: '2010-01-01' share_url: https://deanrush.net/downloads/flyingfreebook.md source_url: https://deanrush.net/downloads/flyingfreebook.md site_category: Flying Free book_title: Flying Free book_chapter: 10 book_chapter_title: Check Your Gauges – Prepare Your Response source_file: flyingfree/flying-free-10-check-your-gauges.md description: > Chapter 10 close — marriage wingman Vickie (Eccl 4:9); faith partners; Jo Jo’s Tuesday accountability group Dean flew back to see. --- # Wingmen in Marriage and the Tuesday Group **Author:** Dean Rush **Book:** *Flying Free* · **Chapter 10:** Check Your Gauges – Prepare Your Response **Full book:** [deanrush.net/downloads/flyingfreebook.md](https://deanrush.net/downloads/flyingfreebook.md) ## Context for the Reader This chapter returns to the three core emergency procedures that run through the entire book. Dean emphasizes that “analyze the situation” is not passive — it is an active, deliberate examination of what is really happening before taking action. The story of Gideon is used as a powerful biblical model of analysis under pressure. This lesson is who helps you read the gauges: a marriage wingman, a trusted faith partner, and a band of mutually accountable friends — because outside viewpoints are usually more objective than your own. > Voice note: Everything under **Dean's excerpt** is Dean's original prose (lightly cleaned only). Sections marked **Biblical foundations**, **Scholar sidebar**, **Takeaways**, and **First-time learner** are enrichment for Asker / first readers — not Dean speaking. --- ## Biblical foundations (preface) Dean’s wingman theology is covenant loyalty plus truthful counsel. Scripture praises two walking together, wounds from a friend, and accountability that holds a high standard under God. | Dean's claim | Scriptural undercarriage | | --- | --- | | Prepare couples for marriage crisis | Count the cost (Luke 14:28); the prudent sees danger (Proverbs 22:3) | | Vickie as best wingman; shared failure plan | The two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24); love bears and endures (1 Corinthians 13:7) | | Ecclesiastes 4:9 — two are better than one | Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 full unit; if one falls the other lifts | | Faith partner for truthful feedback | Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6); speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) | | Outside view more objective | Plans fail without counsel (Proverbs 15:22); multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14) | | Tuesday group — trust, accountability, God’s standard | Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17); confess and pray for one another (James 5:16) | --- ## Dean's excerpt ### Marriage wingman and Jo Jo’s Tuesdays In my present job as a pastor I often counsel couples wanting to be married. When I am counseling the pair I always ask them to tell me what they are going to do when they have a crisis in their marriage. Usually they look at me with starry eyes as if there will never be a crisis because their love will carry them through anything. I am not trying to bring them down with the question, but I do want them to prepare for what will probably occur at some point in their lives. They are going to endure some hardship and they need to prepare for that experience. I simply want them to be prepared. I have been blessed with a wife who has never failed to stand with me, even when a trying situation enveloped our lives. We decided long ago in our marriage that we would trust one another to the point that if we failed, we both failed. In Air Force parlance, she has become my best wingman. We developed a faith plan. If we have a problem, we have developed faith in God and one another so we can endure whatever circumstance we encounter. I am sad to say there have been times when she could have easily backed away and abandoned the plan because of my bad decisions, but she didn’t and I am grateful. We have stuck with the plan through good times and bad. Our crisis plan was to remain together. We have prepared for the bad times during the good times. Just as Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV) states, “…Two are better than one…” It is essential to develop a faith partner with whom we can share our problems, even in bad times. Don’t be afraid to share your problem with someone you can trust. In my case, I share the problems with Vickie. If you are not married, speak with a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor, but share the burden. There is someone who will help you. Outside viewpoints are usually more objective than your own. The key is to get someone to show you a different view of the problem. Seek out someone with whom you can share your heart and who will provide you with truthful feedback. You want someone who will tell you the truth even if you don’t agree with their view of the situation. Listen to their ideas and, if you agree, begin to rely on their judgment. I do believe there is someone for everyone who can be trusted and relied upon in every challenging situation. There is someone who cares. Don’t be afraid to ask that person about their ideas for your circumstance. A few years ago, we lived in Indianapolis and I met with three other guys who were trusted friends and operated as my wingmen in my business life. We met at Jo Jo’s restaurant each Tuesday morning. One was an entrepreneur and inventor, one president of a manufacturing company, one a great pastor, and I was just fortunate to be a part of the group. We shared our hearts on problems of both private and business matters. We had faith in one another to the point that we came to rely on the meeting as an essential part of our schedule. Later in my career I was transferred to Dallas and I would actually fly back to the city where the guys met every Tuesday to obtain their advice and counsel. The friendship paid dividends far beyond money. They helped me develop my faith in life. Those men were honest with me to the point that they made me accountable to everything I did personally or in business. The key factor for those three guys in my life was that they were trusted, we were mutually accountable, and we held each other to a high standard of following God’s instruction in our lives. > **Scholar sidebar — Gauges need wingmen** > Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 and Proverbs 27:6, 17 refuse solo cockpit heroics. Dean’s marriage plan (“if we failed, we both failed”) and the Jo Jo’s flight-backs show what Chapter 10’s analysis requires socially: truthful feedback, mutual accountability, and a shared standard under God’s instruction — prepared in good times for bad. --- ## Takeaways 1. **Prepare couples.** Starry-eyed love is not a crisis plan; hardship will come — prepare. 2. **Best wingman.** Vickie stood with Dean; shared trust, shared failure, faith plan, remain together. 3. **Ecclesiastes 4:9.** Two are better than one — bad times prepared for in good times. 4. **Faith partner.** Share burdens with spouse or trusted friend, counselor, or pastor for a more objective view and truthful feedback. 5. **Tuesday wingmen.** Jo Jo’s group — trust, mutual accountability, God’s standard; counsel worth flying from Dallas to keep. --- ## First-time learner ### What is Dean saying in one sentence? Check gauges with wingmen: prepare marriage for crisis, keep a faith partner like Vickie (Ecclesiastes 4:9), and seek mutually accountable friends who tell the truth under God’s standard. ### Why fly back to a breakfast group? Because objective analysis and faith growth were worth more than the ticket — trusted men held him accountable in life and business. ### Key verses to read with this lesson - **Ecclesiastes 4:9–12** — Two are better than one. - **Proverbs 27:6** — Faithful wounds of a friend. - **Proverbs 27:17** — Iron sharpens iron. - **Proverbs 15:22** — Plans by counsel. - **James 5:16** — Confess and pray for one another. - **Genesis 2:24** — One-flesh loyalty. ### A simple practice Name your current wingman (or the vacancy). This week: (1) thank one if you have them, or (2) ask one trusted person for a standing monthly check-in with permission to tell you the truth you may not like. ### How this feeds Ask Dean Seed material for: *Who is Dean’s best wingman? What was the Tuesday group at Jo Jo’s? Why does he ask engaged couples about crisis plans?*